A Mistress and Proud of It

pic c/o of this site

A MISTRESS and PROUD OF IT
Lj T. Salceda

One night while I was surfing through the local channels I caught part of Bubble Gang’s (gag show on GMA 7) episode wherein one of the hosts said, “Bakit kaya ang mga babae ayaw na nambabae ang mga lalaki, pero pumapatol naman sa mga babaero?” (Why do women dislike womanizers, but still choose to be with a womanizer/cheater?)

A few months ago in an episode of the Tyra Banks show, Tyra featured women who deliberately look for and prefer married guys because according to one of the guests, “They (married men) are not scared of commitment unlike single guys.” To which Tyra replied, “What?!! Isn’t that an irony? They are married but they sleep with you or have affairs with other girls? It doesn’t say commitment to me.” Those are not her exact words, but that was the essence of her statement.

Today I read an article about Alicia Keys and Fantasia Barrino’s affair with married men. How each woman was being treated differently especially by the media because of their race, looks and background when they’ve both committed the same “crime”. I won’t focus on the media’s scrutiny/treatment to both artists, I would rather talk about the M-word. Mistress. The other woman. The third party. Women purposely and openly getting involved with married men even though they are aware that these men are TAKEN.

I don’t have to name names, but we don’t have to look farther. Has any of our local celebrities been charged or sued or convicted of adultery, concubinage or bigamy? I haven’t heard of any.

It’s not new and it doesn’t happen in Hollywood or among celebrities alone. It’s very real and it is prevalent (I doubt if anyone will admit esp in a conservative country like the Philippines) to women regardless of age, race, economic status or religion.

I’ve been fatherless most of my life, so forgive me if I will hold my Pa's "other women" responsible why we grew-up in a solo-parent home. After all it does take two to tango. I know some men can hide to some extent their marital status, but it really breaks my heart and bothers me when women intentionally choose/sleep with/have affairs with married men.

However, I am aware that some women are also victims of abusive, manipulative and selfish men. They’ve been in the relationship even before they knew of their husband's or partner’s marital status or past. I also understand how difficult it is to be entangled in an unhealthy relationship, how even more challenging it is to get out and start all over again. So I am not here to pass judgment. I am not here to play the blame game or project a “holier-than-thou” attitude. I am not here to make matters more complicated. I am simply making an observation and a plea- for us to guard ourselves and save our families.

Our perception and tolerance have changed when it comes to sin, lifestyle and our morals. Now, being a mistress is no longer a taboo or even a sin or a crime. It’s no longer just a story in a best-selling novel or the theme of a controversial movie. It is now a badge. A status symbol. A cool thing to do/have. Sins are not dealt with anymore. Crimes are not punished. We've let things be the way it is now.

Whatever happened to the sanctity of marriage? Whatever happened to good values and right conduct? Whatever happened to women being the (one and only) beloved wife? Whatever happened to fathers being role models to their kids? Whatever happened to us? Respect, honesty, faithfulness and loyalty where are they now?

The line that separated good from bad; right and wrong; legal to illegal is too blurry for some people to even notice nowadays. Sad part is, it will still get worse.

"But a man (woman) who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself.”
- Proverbs 6:32 New International Version

Never Take Love for Granted
15-16 Do you know the saying, "Drink from your own rain barrel,
draw water from your own spring-fed well"?
It's true. Otherwise, you may one day come home
and find your barrel empty and your well polluted.

17-20 Your spring water is for you and you only,
not to be passed around among strangers.
Bless your fresh-flowing fountain!
Enjoy the wife you married as a young man!
Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose—
don't ever quit taking delight in her body.
Never take her love for granted!
Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore?
for dalliance with a promiscuous stranger?

21-23 Mark well that GOD doesn't miss a move you make;
he's aware of every step you take.
The shadow of your sin will overtake you;
you'll find yourself stumbling all over yourself in the dark.
Death is the reward of an undisciplined life;
your foolish decisions trap you in a dead end."

Proverbs 5:15-23 (The Message)