Sunday, February 20, 2011

Me, of Little Faith

(pic from this site)

Me, Of Little Faith

(Lessons in Humility, Patience and Trust)

Lying in my bed for the past two hours with no sign of sleep only made me more antsy, frustrated and hungry. Debating whether to maintain the rest mode or feed my grumbling stomach- it wasn't long before I gave in to my flesh.

It is easier to appease a growling tummy than to pacify an anxious heart. I lazily got up, cooked instant noodles and sliced a piece of egg pie.

The worry rat that I am have been on the edge for days. My source of restlessness- our visa application, rather the long, hard wait for the K1 a.k.a US Fiancee visa.

What if our packet got lost? What if John forgot to include a document? What if we made a mistake? What if it takes years before they finally approve our application? There goes my what if tirade again...

It’s been more than two weeks since my fiancĂ© sent our pack I-129F, the first step to the fiancee visa application and we have yet to receive any response or information from the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS). From what I’ve heard from other applicants I’ve met on-line, it typically takes a few days to two weeks the most to get an approval or worse, the dreaded Request for Further Evidence (RFE). We haven’t gotten either of the two and two weeks have already passed.

I couldn’t silence the what-if voices inside my head anymore. I finally instructed John to give USCIS a call which I would later regret. The USCIS staff informed him it might still take a month before we’ll get a response from them.

What?!!

That just sent me to panic mode. The phone call only made me feel worse.

That's such a long time! What about our wedding date? Our invitation? How come? Why?

Thank God, He gave me such a patient, understanding and prayerful future husband. John tried everything he could to console me and keep me optimistic. The night after the call- between chewing my midnight snacks and trying to make sense of the turn of events, my wandering eyes caught a familiar sight: my maroon passport peeping through my plastic envelope where I keep my K1 documents.

The Lord, in a still, small voice gently rebuked me.

"Lj, my child when will you ever learn to fully trust me? Have I not shown you enough? Have I not proven what I can do? Have I ever failed you?
"

I felt so ashamed I almost choked on my noodles. I answered NO to the last three questions. Then, He lovingly reminded this forgetful, faithless, frail soul…

"When you applied for a tourist visa, you didn’t have the money and everyone was telling you, you wouldn’t get it. But I proved them wrong! You didn’t just get a 10-year multiple entry US visa, it all happened at a record-breaking period of one month including your renewal of passport!

How many times have you been to the US since you got your visa? Twice! And without spending much.

You are the only member in your extended family to ever step foot on US soil. Not even your very hard-working, late grandmother made it out of the Philippines.

Some of your cousins have settled down and have beautiful kids, but you are the only one in your family who has the privilege to plan and prepare for a wedding. And to actually have one in the US!

You envy people who have lots of money? Guess what? They've worked longer than you and harder than you, but were they able to enjoy the wealth they've amassed? Most important of all, have they invested in what really matters?

To top it all- have I not blessed you with a great guy and an amazing family-in-law to-be?


Patience, my dear. Worrying will not get you anything or anywhere. Have you forgotten your favorite verse?

I, not you will make all things beautiful in MY time, not yours. (Ecc. 3:11a) Trust me."

Though embarrassed, I slept humbled that night.

A few days later my fiance posted this message on my FB wall…

John Schroeder LJ good news it (NOA1) came today finally in the mail Yayyy!


19 comments:

  1. what an inspiring testimony ms. Lj...

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  2. :) good luck Te JOY, miss YOU.
    'HE MAKE ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL, in HIS time.

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  3. wow.....naiyak naman po ako dun ate Lj...God bless you and kuya John.talaga po there is a perfect time sa Lord..all we need is have faith and patient of what His will to us...that's why am starting to pray for God's best man for me..just like you ate He gave you a best man and finally you engaged to kuya John.God be with you and bless you always..we will miss you very much till the day you go with kuya John and new family soon.have a blessed day po ate...please say hi to me in your program sa IU if you read this message po.THANKSSS po...

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  4. Anonymous 1 -> thanks kapatid! :)

    Laine -> miss you too Leng! :)

    Anonymous 2 -> you forgot to mention your name kapatid. :)

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  5. Praise God! The Lord had prepared a lot in our garage but we hardly notice those things He had prepared for us.
    Hope to see you again ms LJ! i'm a fan of yours. ^.^
    It's inspiring. God bless you!
    -emk(UBC manila)in case u have forgotten, we met at starbucks megamall, Christmas season with Ae Domingo :)

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  6. so blessed reading this blog of yours ate LJ..indeed...God's heart is to bless us..yun din ung kulang sakin eh "patience"...sa lahat ng bagay laging small amount of patience lang an naibibigay ko..and siguro the reason y i am hurt right now because i dont have patience...God bless you ate and ur future own family..:)

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  7. Emk -> yes, I do remember you kapatid! Thanks for dropping by. See you around.

    Anne -> mukhang madaming nakakarelate sa article na 'to. i pray you'll experience healing in God's time. :)

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  8. Hi Lj i can relate on ur blog God bless you more! Please greet mo naman ako dyan sa show mo inspiration unlimited im listening on internet im caherine jao-huerta from taif saudi arabia

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  9. Hi lj thank God sa blogmo i can relate to it plese greet mo naman ako sa inspiration unlimited im catherine jao-huerta from taif saudi arabia im listening tru internet.

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  10. God is good ate lj, he made all things beautiful at His perfect time...God bless..

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  11. very inspiring testimony ms. Lj.. God truly has His own time..by the way i'm marie christine marfil, me and my brothers listens to your show..Godbless you more!

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  12. am anonymous 2 po ate..my name is maricel lumbas po..thanks po ate Lj..God bless po..

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  13. Hehe, parang ako din un kinakausap ng Lord dito: "Lj, my child when will you ever learn to fully trust me? Have I not shown you enough? Have I not proven what I can do? Have I ever failed you?"

    Thanks for sharing..naiyak ako as if God has been speaking to me while reading your blog. God bless you Ms LJ! :)

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  14. hi lj!

    congrats and best wishes nga pala... pareho na tayo ng status! LOL :-)

    and oh, i know u've been tagged and awarded already but then i still want to do the same to you 'cause u deserve it. hehehe!

    http://rajshbratinella.blogspot.com/2011/03/tagged-and-awarded.html

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  15. Ruth -> hindi ko nga akalain na marami makaka-relate dito sa post ko. :)

    Rajsh -> salamat insan! congrats din sa'yo! am happy for you. :)

    Cat, Christine and Maricel -> salamat ng marami! blessings! :)

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  16. hi sis!me and mom listens to ur show...mostly mom everyday kasi its natutulog ako in the afternoon..mom also shared with me about ur visa, we have been the same situation..we just applied for the I29f last week, and were kinda nervous and anxious as well,thanks for the post ha? it helps talaga..where ka pla mag stay sa US? kami kasi sa SJ, CA.. hope to see u soon!Kathy Lati

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  17. Hi Kathy! Nasa Rancho Cucamonga ang fiance ko. If you have questions about the Fiancee Visa, just let me know on FB. Baka makatulong ako. Keep me posted! God bless! :)

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  18. Sis! near pla sa LA ung fiancee mo..cge msg kita sa fb ok? God bless U! <3- kathy

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  19. Sure sis! Just search for Lj Salceda (personal page). Pag di mo ko na-add, send ka lang ng message tapos ako na lang mag-a-add sa'yo. Magbubura pa kasi ako ng friends na may double accounts. :)

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