Our Fiance (K1) Visa Saga: Chapter Two

Our Fiance Visa Saga: Chapter Two

LJ Salceda Schroeder

(pic c/o my Aunt Vivian)

Akala ng iba madali, masarap at bongga kapag may bf/fiance/asawa kang 'Kano. Ang 'di alam ng marami, sangkatutak na papeles, red tape at sakripisyo ang titiisin mo para lang sa lovelife at loved ones mo. Bago maging isang nobela ito, back to K1 tayo. If you missed Chapter One, here's the link.  

After passing the medical exam, it's time to PAY AND SCHEDULE THE VISA INTERVIEW.

The interview process was both exciting and nerve-wracking for me. I've been granted a 10-yr tourist visa before I applied for the K1 so I am aware of the routine. What made it worrisome was, some of the documents that I needed for the interview did not arrive on time because John sent it via post office! This is a NO-NO for very important and original documents. (Use Fed Ex or UPS or other shipping companies, NOT the post office if you or your significant other need to send anything valuable to each other!) I had to re-schedule the interview (twice) if I'm not mistaken because I wasn't sure if I should go through with the interview with our incomplete documents. When it did arrive (two days after the interview) in the mail it was opened and a masking tape was used to re-seal it. Sigh!

The day before my interview, I was scrambling and petrified. After chatting with John and praying together, I asked him to scan and e-mail whatever copies he has left of income tax/investments/bank accounts or anything to prove he is financially liable of myself once I get there (another important requirement for the K1 application). I also asked him to write a letter to the Manila US Embassy explaining what happened to the rest of the financial support papers which I brought to the interview. 

FYI: If the petitioner does not reach the "poverty guideline" in his state, he may look for a qualified co-sponsor.  

In spite of our dilemma, we entrusted everything to the Lord then I reviewed some of the possible questions for the interview.

ON THE DAY OF THE INTERVIEW July 1, 2011, I woke up at 4am, got ready, double-checked my list, asked my mom to pray  for me before I left (a lot of help to calm my nerves) and arrived at the US Embassy gates by 5:30am. My interview was at 6:40am and the line was already loooong as expected. 

I was in-line for at least 30 mins (protocols and specific requirements at the embassy are included in the interview confirmation e-mail) before they started letting people in, getting checked by security and going through some of the documents (interview confirmation letter, receipt etc.)

K1 visa interview is slightly different from the Tourist Visa Interview. Once inside the embassy grounds, your documents will be initially checked and you will be given a number. By batches (using you number) you will be fingerprinted (biometrics), then you will have to wait again until your initial interview. 

When my number was flashed, I went to a room with a Filipino consul/staff. He checked my docus (I organized them in a huge plastic envelope) and just asked the basic questions- my name, the petitioner's name, do I have all the documents etc.  I showed him John's "explanation/apology" letter and explained what happened to the rest of our papers. I think he said it's up for the interviewer to decide. When he was done, he told me to wait (in the lobby) until my number pops up above one of the windows where the actual interview will happen.

I silently prayed and practiced some more while waiting for the "actual interview". I also observed how some of the interviews went (you will learn a lot just by observing.) I noticed that one of the girls that was being interviewed (who was either denied or given the "colored" slip I don't remember how it ended) was having a hard time explaining her annulment. She was a little feisty too! 

When my number was shown, I was thankful that I was assigned to a very friendly American (Caucasian) man probably in his 30's who was wearing a barong tagalog. He again asked me the basic questions- my name, my fiance's name, how we met, what he does for a living, wedding planning etc. Then he noticed John's apology/explanation letter. I started explaining and apologizing and promised him I will come back and submit the rest, but he assured me and this is his exact words because I clearly remember to this day, "Your fiance seems to have enough money to support you. No need for additional documents." (Whew!) Then he congratulated me and swore me (to get married within 90 days) and gave me the white paper (where you have to put your mailing add for the visa delivery.)   

A miracle! An answered prayer! A relief! 

It took more than a week for my visa to be ready for pick up in one of the 2Go branches. You can also have it delivered as an option. I stayed in the Philippines a few more weeks to spend time with family and friends, work on the rest of the wedding, attend the Commission on Filipino Overseas or CFO seminar (another requirement prior to departure) and on July 31, 2011 I flew for the third time to the US to be with my man for the rest of my life.

  

Again, it's not an easy journey. It doesn't end once visa is in your hands or once you are married. K1 is just the first process among the succeeding processes you will go through if you decide to marry a foreign (American in this case) national. It is not for the faint of heart that's for sure. 

Our Fiance (K1) Visa Saga: Chapter One

Our Fiance (K1) Visa Saga: Chapter One

LJ Salceda Schroeder

Even before John and I got married and to this day, I still receive e-mails seeking advice/tips/prayers/information regarding fiance visa a.k.a K1 visa. A few examples:

"Hi ate LJ!  Ask lang po about some ideas- paano po mag apply ng US fiance visa? salamat po! God bless."

   

please can you help me get some information about fiance visa in the US? I will be getting married soon also and I do not know how to process the papers. I hope to hear from you.

just wana ask, madali ba magfile ng visa? how did you do it? how much money did you spend? is it easier to go there or get married here? just want an idea what to do... my bf really doesn't know where to start... 

my gsto lang po sana akong itanong. may mareng friend po ako na my boyfriend na foreigner nagpaplano po cla na magpakasal,ano po ang unang ginawa nio para makapagfile  ng mga papers na mapunta ka po states? ano po ginawa ni Mr. nyo nong pumunta cya dito pinas? Sya po ba nagpunta sa american embassy? pls.po need ko lang po kasi malaman gsto ko lang po matulungan marengfriend ko,di po kasi alam gagawin nya.maraming salamat po!

Now that one or maybe two (not sure) of my cousins is/are dating an American guy as well-I've decided to recall, recollect and blog about John and yours truly's K1 journey. Hopefully, I'd be able to answer most, if not all of their (and yours too) visa related q's.

Disclaimer: I am in no way an expert on visa or relationship matters. For legal, official, up-to-date and first-hand info, always consult the experts or authorities. 

For the definition, types of visas, requirements, frequently asked q's, fees and the complete process, please refer to the US embassy website- www.manila.usembassy.gov or the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services website- www.uscis.gov. What I will be sharing with you here is more on our personal experience when we applied for the fiance visa (different from the Tourist B1 or Spouse visa K3/IR1/CR1.) 

Prior to John popping the question and the ring, we knew with certainty that our relationship was heading towards marriage. With that goal comes TONS of hard work, patience, faith and resources. I started reading, researching and gathering the evidence or documents early on in our dating stage. It helped that I am an organized, detail-oriented and very sentimental person. I saved our chat logs, receipts, airline tickets and took lots of pictures. You will be needing majority of these as part of the evidence of your relationship- one of the requirements for the K1 application. (I always reminded John to save and send me a copy of our chats whenever I was ym'ing him from my phone because I can't do it in my phone.)

Note that K1 is a PROCESS. Sometimes stressful, overwhelming, draining, long and might take it's toll in a relationship, but rewarding if you make it to the next stage (marriage). Every case or application is different. USCIS usually gives a timeline as a guide not as a rule. Many factors can come up and affect your application along the way.

John proposed to me on January 05, 2011, during my second trip to the US. Another side note: meeting each other in person is another requirement for the K1 application. It doesn't matter where or how long basta magkita kayo ng mata sa mata. :) 

We filed our application end of January or early February 2011(my memory fails me when it comes to dates, that's why it helps to save docus). This is the first official part of the process- FILING OF K1 APPLICATION BY THE PETITIONER. John (the US citizen or petitioner) has to send the application (forms, additional documents and fee) to the USCIS in the United States (not the US Embassy in the Philippines) via snail mail. Most of the documents required are from the petitioner (John), however there are requirements from beneficiary (me) as well, such as passport pictures, biographic info (form G325A), letter of intent, etc.

FYI, you will encounter a lot of acronyms, terms, document types etc. as you go through the K1 process. Yung mga forms may mga letters pa sa huli like A,B,C,D at ina-update from time to time. Good thing is, there are plenty of resources and support groups on-line that you can turn to for answers, clarifications and to help keep your sanity. :)

Feb. 10, 2011, USCIS received and acknowledged our K1 application by sending us a notice on e-mail and a hard copy a.k.a Notice of Action (NOA1). By May 13, 2011 (3 months after our application) we got our coveted second notice- the approval (NOA2) in the mail. 

Note that this is NOT the visa approval, this is just the K1 application approval. Once the application is approved it will be sent to the National Visa Center or NVC. The NVC will then forward your approved documents to the US Embassy in Manila. 

It is rare for an application to be denied at the initial stage. The worst you can get is what they call a Request for Further Evidence (RFE) which could be a missing/updated/proper document.) Once you send what they want and they are satisfied with it, wait for the notice (or an update if you are signed up on their site), then upon approval you have the go signal to move on to the next stage.

While waiting for the approval or NOA2, we started collecting the rest of the requirements (proof of relationship, NBI, CENOMAR, proof of financial support etc.) for the forthcoming stages (medical and interview).  I also tried to squeeze in exercise and vitamins to boost my immune system in preparation for the medical exam. 

PREPARING FOR THE MEDICAL AND INTERVIEW (after receiving the NOA2), was probably one of the most stressful, arduous, challenging parts of the process. You see, while going through the K1, you are also hoping/trying to prepare for a wedding abroad, maximizing whatever time you have left with family and friends and in my case leaving my 
job of more than a decade and moving my stuff from my place to my mom's apartment.

(Gown-fitting with my gown maker, Ate Laila Ramos)

After the petitioner gets the notice of approval (NOA2) in the mail, the beneficiary will then receive an appointment letter (might take between two weeks to a month) stating that he/she is eligible to schedule for an interview at the Manila US Embassy. Mine arrived on June 15, 2011 (more than 1 month after our NOA2.) 

Prior to this you have to undergo the dreaded medical exam at St. Luke's Medical Center Extension Clinic (SLMCEC) in Manila. During our time, you can go on with the medical exam even without the hardcopy of the appointment letter from the Embassy and without scheduling for the visa interview, (you do need to have your Case Number which your petitioner can get by calling the NVC hotline in the US). However a new rule is now being implemented- you need to have a schedule for an interview at the embassy first before you can do the medical (walk-in and on-line appointment are both allowed at SLMCEC). Also, there is another set of requirements and fee for the medical exam that you will have to prepare/pay/bring at SLMCEC.

FYI: the steps, fees, forms change periodically that's why it's important to check the USCIS or Manila US Embassy website for updates.

The medical exam during our time (feels like ages ago) was a two-day visit. May 30, 2011 was day 1: I paid the fees, presented the requirements, waited for my turn for the vitals, blood draw, x-ray, physical, interview with the doc etc. May 31, 2011 was day 2:  vaccines and getting/reading the results. Some applicants get a positive result on the TB test and this can be one of the roadblocks you may have to face because the doctors will require you to do a re-test and medication that could last for months. Also if you had an annulment (bring your papers), they will require you to talk to a psychiatrist and if psychological incapacity on your part was the reason of your annulment- you will have to go through a psych exam. Be prepared for more time at the hospital and expenses. If everything goes well the first time, then you are (almost) at the end of the K1 visa journey. 

If you made it to this part, I highly commend you! Nevertheless there's MORE to come... It's not a saga for nothing!

Side note: K1 is not the visa for couples who plan to get married in the Philippines but would like to settle down in the US. You need the spousal visa for that. Although if you are a K1 holder you can both have a wedding in the US and once you have adjusted your status (AOS) or in the process of AOS with the appropriate documents you can go back and have a wedding in the Philippines. 

Love ♥ On-line

(our wedding invite cover c/o Wingdingz)

Love ♥ On-line

Lj T. Salceda

I have been meaning to write something... a lot of things actually.

My trip to Bicol...
The K1 (Fiancee) Visa Process...
Our Wedding Preparations...
My last few days in the Philippines...

My first week in the US...

And the list goes on...

Where would I begin? So much to write about, so little time. So many things have transpired since my last article. Let me start by responding to one of the most asked questions I've gotten so far.

"i wud like to ask po sana kung anu pong christian site or social network nyo nakilala c mr. john (ur fiance)? thanks po! we miss u n po sa radio" - from a listener." (I would like to ask from what Christian site or social network did you meet your fiance John?)

I'm your avid listener on i.u..just want t0 c0ngratulate u and ur husband t0 be 0n ur upcoming wedding..ur l0ve st0ry inspired me..can l ask what christian site did you meet your future husband? h0pe u can grant my request.thanks. - from an FB friend

A little history first... I was introduced to the on-line community back in 1997 after attending a seminar about the inter-net organized by our municipal library. Thereafter I've been an active netizen- exchanging letters with my on-line penpals, polishing my English vocabulary by writing articles and learning the ins and outs of the virtual universe by perusing various websites.

The inter-net, computer and technology are such wonderful tools! I consider them gifts to humankind. But they can also be abused or misused just like any other gift or tool.

In spite of the advancement in technology and our more "liberal" times, many still view on-line dating or relationships negatively. It is oftentimes synonymous to mail order brides or virtual prostitution and even pornography. Sadly, these things do abound on-line, but I'd rather focus on the benefits of technology like how it brought me and my hubby to-be together. :)

John and I met through a Christian dating site called Christian Dating For Free (CDFF) more than two years ago. Before I go on any further, let me just point out that I'm NOT endorsing this site or any particular dating site or even on-line dating. I am merely answering specific questions from listeners/friends. Each dating site has their own rules, advantages/disadvantages and purpose.

Since I've been on-line for more than a decade now, I've picked-up a number of valuable lessons/pointers that I want to share with those who are or want to try on-line dating/relationship (OLD/R):

1. Be EXTRA cautious. On-line dating definitely has its limitations, as well as benefits. Like in the real world people can lie, betray or deceive you in the virtual world. If you're not mindful, you might end up hurt and broken. Before you give any specific personal info or commit to someone on-line make sure you've met him/her in person, have taken the time to get to know each other and have developed trust with each other.

2. Set rules and boundaries. Early on in my adult life I've decided NOT to date or get involved with guys who are a.) old enough to be my dad (I'm not looking for a replacement of my absentee father), b.) separated/divorced/annulled or c.) have kids. Not to pass judgement on anyone, but those are my personal convictions. I can talk to them or be friends with them but nothing more. :)

Before becoming an official dating couple, I request John to come to the Philippines and see me. He did after months of exchanging IM's and e-mails. (This made me admire him more because it showed how dedicated and committed he was in pursuing me. With very limited resources and time, he booked a trip to Manila and gave in to my request, um more like a demand.) I was able to introduced him to my family and friends and he was able to observe me at work. We were able go out on dates like typical dating couples do. Only then did we become official boyfriend/girlfriend.

3. Don't just date to date. Date with a purpose (of getting to know each other to find out if it will lead to the possibility of marriage.) If it would help to involve your family or friends in your search for a lifetime partner, then let them know so makaliskisan n'yo as we say in Filipino. Ask trusted people to pray for you or for tips from couples who are in the same boat. They might see things from a different perspective, especially if you're too focused with the other person or your feelings for each other.

If after plenty (say 3-5) years of talking on-line and you still have not met his/her family & close friends or you have not seriously discussed settling down and other important topics, evaluate the direction of your relationship or friendship (if this is what you both decide on).

4. Be realistic. Some people succeed in finding love or the right partner on-line, some don't. On-line relationships involve risks, require a lot of hard work, patience, money, time, sacrifice and trust. If you think it's difficult to be with someone you can't see/touch/smell for a long time, think hard because long-distance love is TOUGH and it might not be for you. Your romance might start on-line, but it doesn't mean when you're off-line you should go out with another guy/girl or you will be "skyping" or "yming" for life. Your dynamics will change once you're physically together. Plan, save and do everything you can to make it work.

5. Pray (a lot!). Ask for the Lord's protection, wisdom and discernment. I don't look for clues or signs when I pray about something or someone. I ask God to confirm what He has already impressed in my heart. I consult the Bible or a man/woman of God if I need additional counsel.

If your on-line or long-distance relationship doesn't work, don't lose heart. People meet in various, crazy, unimaginable ways and places. God is a God of surprises. The important thing is you tried and gave it your best.

Btw, I don't recommend (on-line and even off-line) dating or bf-gf relationships to high-school or college students. I strongly suggest finishing your STUDIES first before pursuing someone or getting involved in a committed relationship. Trust me, it'll be worth the wait! :)

My friend Kuya Kevin Sanders also wrote an interesting article about On-line Relationships.

31

(pic from this site)

31
Lj T. Salceda

“I’m getting old,” I complained to my guy. “Who isn’t?” he jokingly answered. Oo nga naman! May tama s’ya dun!

Age is an accumulation of days/time. That's why we have sayings like, "age is just a number." Sabi naman ng iba na ayaw magpabuko ng edad, "Kalabaw lang ang tumatanda." (According to some who don't want to reveal their age, "only carabaos/water buffalos grow old.")For some, age or life is a collection of experiences or lessons or accomplishments or victories. Unfortunately for some, they do not only make a career out of being miserable but worst, they also devote their lifetime to failures, defeats, problems and what-if’s. I’d rather not. I choose to see the glass half-full. Life is too beautiful and too short to be missed out.

In a few days I’ll be celebrating another 365 days that have passed (will pass). Before I reached my 30’s, I listed 30 of the things that I wanted to do/accomplish before I officially turn 30. A milestone for me, since I’ve always thought I will die young because I’ve been sickly as a child/teenager.

As I went through the list one more time, I was overwhelmed by emotions- happiness, gratefulness, fulfillment, hope and excitement. There’s also a tinge of sadness and a bit of disappointment in some areas, but the positive feelings certainly outweigh the negative ones.

Almost half of what I listed had come to pass (YAY!), though there are still plenty that I have yet to fulfill. Two weeks from now, I’m glad that another item on my list will become a reality. It maybe a year delayed, but everything happens for a reason I believe.

After years of writing and with Church Strengthening Ministry’s help, I will be launching my first book: EATING WITH ONE CHOPSTICK: Growing-Up in a Single Parent Home.

So if you or someone you know is a:

1. SINGLE-PARENT (including separated/divorced/annulled individuals; teenage-mother/father; a mother that bore a child out of wedlock; spouse of a prisoner/OFW; a guardian of grandkids or nephews/nieces; a widow/er; victims of abuse/rape that resulted to pregnancy)
2. SON or DAUGHTER of a single-parent
3. PASTOR or LEADER of a solo-parent ministry or organizations
4. PERSON involved in a BIGAMOUS or POLYGAMOUS relationship (a mistress/other woman/man)
5. An ABSENTEE father/mother (including emotionally absent parents, alcoholic, womanizer, abusive parents)

Also, if you (or someone you know) is going through…
- break-up or relationship problems
- gender / weight / self-image issues
- depression / suicidal tendencies
- health concerns
- poverty
- bullying
- vices

Even if you are blessed with a complete, loving family please spread the word about...

EATING WITH ONE CHOPSTICK: Growing-Up in a Single Parent Home
Book launch and Autograph Signing
(With the rest of CSM’s local authors)
Sept 17, 2010 at 6pm
SMX, Mall of Asia
Everyone is invited!!!

Books will be available at a discounted rate exclusively at the Manila International Bookfair (Sept. 15-19). But will be out in local, Christian and leading bookstores very soon.



(my 1st birthday with Pa blowing my candle)

A Mistress and Proud of It

pic c/o of this site

A MISTRESS and PROUD OF IT
Lj T. Salceda

One night while I was surfing through the local channels I caught part of Bubble Gang’s (gag show on GMA 7) episode wherein one of the hosts said, “Bakit kaya ang mga babae ayaw na nambabae ang mga lalaki, pero pumapatol naman sa mga babaero?” (Why do women dislike womanizers, but still choose to be with a womanizer/cheater?)

A few months ago in an episode of the Tyra Banks show, Tyra featured women who deliberately look for and prefer married guys because according to one of the guests, “They (married men) are not scared of commitment unlike single guys.” To which Tyra replied, “What?!! Isn’t that an irony? They are married but they sleep with you or have affairs with other girls? It doesn’t say commitment to me.” Those are not her exact words, but that was the essence of her statement.

Today I read an article about Alicia Keys and Fantasia Barrino’s affair with married men. How each woman was being treated differently especially by the media because of their race, looks and background when they’ve both committed the same “crime”. I won’t focus on the media’s scrutiny/treatment to both artists, I would rather talk about the M-word. Mistress. The other woman. The third party. Women purposely and openly getting involved with married men even though they are aware that these men are TAKEN.

I don’t have to name names, but we don’t have to look farther. Has any of our local celebrities been charged or sued or convicted of adultery, concubinage or bigamy? I haven’t heard of any.

It’s not new and it doesn’t happen in Hollywood or among celebrities alone. It’s very real and it is prevalent (I doubt if anyone will admit esp in a conservative country like the Philippines) to women regardless of age, race, economic status or religion.

I’ve been fatherless most of my life, so forgive me if I will hold my Pa's "other women" responsible why we grew-up in a solo-parent home. After all it does take two to tango. I know some men can hide to some extent their marital status, but it really breaks my heart and bothers me when women intentionally choose/sleep with/have affairs with married men.

However, I am aware that some women are also victims of abusive, manipulative and selfish men. They’ve been in the relationship even before they knew of their husband's or partner’s marital status or past. I also understand how difficult it is to be entangled in an unhealthy relationship, how even more challenging it is to get out and start all over again. So I am not here to pass judgment. I am not here to play the blame game or project a “holier-than-thou” attitude. I am not here to make matters more complicated. I am simply making an observation and a plea- for us to guard ourselves and save our families.

Our perception and tolerance have changed when it comes to sin, lifestyle and our morals. Now, being a mistress is no longer a taboo or even a sin or a crime. It’s no longer just a story in a best-selling novel or the theme of a controversial movie. It is now a badge. A status symbol. A cool thing to do/have. Sins are not dealt with anymore. Crimes are not punished. We've let things be the way it is now.

Whatever happened to the sanctity of marriage? Whatever happened to good values and right conduct? Whatever happened to women being the (one and only) beloved wife? Whatever happened to fathers being role models to their kids? Whatever happened to us? Respect, honesty, faithfulness and loyalty where are they now?

The line that separated good from bad; right and wrong; legal to illegal is too blurry for some people to even notice nowadays. Sad part is, it will still get worse.

"But a man (woman) who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself.”
- Proverbs 6:32 New International Version

Never Take Love for Granted
15-16 Do you know the saying, "Drink from your own rain barrel,
draw water from your own spring-fed well"?
It's true. Otherwise, you may one day come home
and find your barrel empty and your well polluted.

17-20 Your spring water is for you and you only,
not to be passed around among strangers.
Bless your fresh-flowing fountain!
Enjoy the wife you married as a young man!
Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose—
don't ever quit taking delight in her body.
Never take her love for granted!
Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore?
for dalliance with a promiscuous stranger?

21-23 Mark well that GOD doesn't miss a move you make;
he's aware of every step you take.
The shadow of your sin will overtake you;
you'll find yourself stumbling all over yourself in the dark.
Death is the reward of an undisciplined life;
your foolish decisions trap you in a dead end."

Proverbs 5:15-23 (The Message)